10 Surprising Reasons Why Divorce Happens and How to Prevent them

According to the majority of media outlets, they report that divorce rates are high.

The official data shows otherwise. Over the years, the divorce rate in the country has gone down. In fact, in 2016, the divorce rate dropped to a 40-year low.

Nonetheless, many couples are filing for divorce. Between 40% and 50% of all couples that get married end up in divorce with many others separating.

The cost of divorce is also rising with the average legal costs for an uncontested divorce starting at about $1,500. Contested ones start at an average of $15,000.

Divorce costs are even more expensive for couples without a prenuptial agreement.

Here are the ten most common reasons why people divorce.

Financial Issues

Finances are a major cause of divorce. Finance issues can range from the lack of funds to financial incompatibility. In the latter, a couple with enough money might not have similar goals on how to spend the cash. For example, one person might be interested in short term financial needs like partying while the other might be interested in long-term goals like buying a house.

These disagreements can get intense.

Sometimes divorces caused by financial disagreements can be prevented if the couple talks about funds and goals before they get married. They need to talk about the amount of money they earn and their short and long-term financial goals.

It is also advised that the couple talks to a certified financial planner who will advise the couple on financial issues.

Getting in for the Wrong Reasons

Many couples divorce because they got married for the wrong reason. Some people get married for professional advancement while others get married for financial stability. Others got married because they have given up on finding the ideal marriage partner and others do so because of age.

Studies show that marriages that are not built on the foundation of love are bound to fail. This is because the partner marrying for other reasons will likely be disappointed. For example, the person who marries because age has caught up with her will likely find undesirable traits in the partner.

Infidelity

Infidelity is alive and well. It has been there since the beginning of time. Studies show that more than 40% of married couples admit to cheating.

Couples cheat for several reasons like lack of intimacy in the marriage and lack of physical contact between the couples.

When a partner starts cheating, the spark between the marriage disappears which could lead to divorce. In some cases, a partner will decide to stick to the marriage, but in many cases, it usually leads to divorce.

Lack of a Shared Vision

When couples get married, they become one family.

As such, it is impossible for a couple to remain intact if they don’t share a similar vision about their lives. For example, one partner might be interested in having just one kid while the other might be interested in three. Alternatively, one partner might be interested in saving a substantial amount of money for retirement while the other might be interested in living for the moment.

According to multiple marriage experts, it is important for couples to outline their vision before getting married. In this, they should talk about finances, short-term and long-term goals, and their professional life.

Intimacy

As mentioned, many married couples cheat which is a leading cause of divorce. One reason why cheating is common is lack of sexual satisfaction in marriage. As a result, the unsatisfied partner tries to find this satisfaction on other places.

Experts advice couples who face this challenge to talk about the issue and possibly seek help from a doctor or a marriage counselor. Possibly, some of the problems causing intimacy problems can be solved by medication or counseling.

Growing Apart

During courtship, couples do a lot of things together. One might travels regularly to meet the other. They go out for dinners, picnics, and outings. Also, when they are not together, they spend a lot of time chatting and talking on phone.

Sometimes, after married, all this ends. They stop going out for dinners and when they are apart, they stop texting and chatting.

As a result, the couple grows apart. This is because the enthusiasm that used to be there has fizzled.

This can be solved by doing instantaneous things like regularly going out for dinners and traveling during vacation time. Also, taking time to travel and avoiding routine activities can help prevent chances of growing apart.

Lack of Physical Contact / Desertion

Married couples get busy at times that they don’t have time for one another. For busy executives, it becomes extremely difficult to spend time together. For example, a manager at a global organization will regularly spend time traveling. The same is true for a partner who runs his own company.

To reduce such cases, couples are advised to do several things. First, they need to always keep in touch through the phone, and most likely, through video calls. Having video calls helps remove seeds of doubts.

Second, the couple needs to plan and create free time to spend with their partners. Remember, it doesn’t need to have a lot of time. The little time you get, make sure you spend it optimally.

Third, when possible, in official duties, the couple can travel together.

Inability to Resolve Conflicts

All couples have conflicts. Often, these conflicts can be as minor as using the toothpaste the wrong way. They can also be as major as cheating or financial impropriety.

When these conflicts are not solved amicably, they can lead to divorce.

Marriage experts advise couples to be always open-minded when dealing with issues. They also need to have serious family meetings where they discuss these issues. Also, they advise couples to avoid making mistakes intentionally.

Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is rampant. In fact, studies have found that more than 10 million people are abused physically in relationships every year. This translates to about 20 people per minute.

There are many causes of violence in marriages such as infidelity and emotional problems. Some victims of domestic violence decide to hold on to their marriages with the hope that they will change. Most times these marriages end in divorce.

Communication

A marriage cannot succeed unless there is proper and honest communication. During courtship, communication is often great but as couples settle in marriage, this changes. When communication breaks down, it is impossible for a marriage to last.

Experts advise couples to always talk to each other about all aspects of their marriage.

Bottom-line

Marriages are a lot of work, but they can also be rewarding and fun. They bring companionship and friendship. However, sometimes, do to irreconcilable difference, divorce happens.